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October 05, 2004
So far, I've never heard any of these...
Posted by Andrew at October 5, 2004 11:09 AM
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And no where does it mention Mel Gibson.
Posted by: Rand. at October 6, 2004 07:06 AM
I died at the cucumber reference. Viva Larry! Go Veggie Tales! Woo-hoo!
Posted by: sarah at October 6, 2004 09:26 AM
Here are some bad but true ones:
"I wanted the one with more information about Yahweh's family life with his wife Asherah and son Baal."
"I wanted the one where Elohim was translated correctly as "the Gods" rather than "the LORD"."
"Can I have the one with the picture from Kuntillet 'Arjud where Yahweh has the Bull's head and a dick hanging down to knees."
"I wanted the one with the Protogospel of James... where Mary gets fingered after the birth of Jesus?"
"No, this isn't right, Ham didn't uncover his drunken father's nakedness, he ****ed him in the ass."
Posted by: John Foelster at October 6, 2004 11:46 PM
I actually did have a guy who wanted an “untranslated version of the bible” I told him that if he spoke Greek, Latin and Aramaic, the best he could do was a copy of a translation of some guy’s memory of what Jesus said. But pretty much any version of the bible you get is going to be 99.99+% the same as any other version. And may I recommend King James for style or the New Living Translation for readability?
He didn’t want “some version” of the bible, he wanted “the real thing”.
Well, if you speak Hebrew, there should be something in Jerusalem which may work for you. But the New Testament is pretty much a wash...
Fuck. Obviously this guy has read too many articles about how “the church” spun the bible their own way, and wants to see Jesus’ home videos before he’ll be happy accepting the Bible...
Posted by: Andrew Cory at October 7, 2004 12:00 AM
Wasn't aware you accepted the bible!
Posted by: John Foelster at October 7, 2004 06:44 AM
Do I accept the bible? That’s an interesting question (granted, you made it a statement). I guess the best I can do is to say that I accept it as a book soaked in history, and deep in meaning for its followers...
On an historical level, I can accept the bible as being the metaphors and history of an (especially long lived!) tribe. As a faith document, I have a great deal more trouble. My customer was not willing to believe the bible’s reality on _any_ level-- to the point of not believing that all the versions we have on our shelves say the exact same thing...
Posted by: Andrew Cory at October 7, 2004 11:14 AM
Ahem.
A lot of them don't.
Posted by: John Foelster at October 7, 2004 06:43 PM