The Punning Pundit: November 2006 Archives

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November 30, 2006

Terrorism: it's not just for Muslims anymore.

But then, it never was:

Jackson Sun - www.jacksonsun.com - Jackson, TN

Demetrius "Van" Crocker of McKenzie, convicted in April of attempting to obtain a chemical weapon and possession of stolen explosives, was sentenced to 30 years in prison Tuesday by U.S. District Judge James Todd in Jackson.

Crocker, who told undercover FBI agents of his desire to explode a briefcase bomb while Congress was in session, was found guilty by a jury in about 90 minutes in April.

The 40-year-old farmhand and father of two was convicted of accepting what he thought were ingredients to make Sarin nerve gas and a block of C-4 explosive from undercover agents in October 2004.
The maximum penalty Crocker could have faced for the convictions would have been a life sentence. Todd did order lifetime supervised release for Crocker once he gets out of prison.

In all, Crocker was convicted on five charges: one count of attempted possession of a chemical weapon, one count of inducing another person to acquire a chemical weapon, one count of possession of stolen explosives, one count of possession of explosive material with intent to harm an individual or damage or destroy a building, and one count of possession of an unregistered destructive device.

During the trial, prosecutors introduced video- and audio-taped conversations that Crocker had with undercover agents, laced with profanity, racial slurs and Crocker's open hatred of all things to do with the government.

Why didn't we hear about this 25 months ago? I should have thought that terrorists threatening congress would have been big news just before an election...

Posted by Andrew at 06:21 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

The Middle: Bleed American*

With the most 2006 midterm elections having drawn to a close, I can finally do something I had been wanting to do for quite a while: return to my “moderate” roots. The world is no longer upside down; it is possible once more to stand in the middle and find the world shifting under, sliding ever towards destruction...

"Moderate", or “centrist” policies have a special place in American hearts. We have long heard cries for "bipartisanship". The idea seems to be that if our parties could simply work together the extremes on "both sides" would kill each other off in some sort of Ultimate Congressional Championship. Moderates are the heroes of this story; they ride in on their shiny white horses of Compromise and slay the beast of Extremism...

In principle, this is utterly ok. It is my firm belief that our system, to borrow words from 1776, offers a gentler means of redress than revolution. And yet Martin Luther King JR once called moderates "the great stumbling block[...]". He is correct: there does come a time when revolution is necessary and proper, a time when it is impossible to remain both principled and moderate...

The problem comes from the assumption that one is bargaining between two extreme points of view. The middle ground between red and blue is, indeed, purple. Nevertheless, when one side of the debate owns all the terms by which the debate can be held—in some cases going so far as to shut the lights off and halt recording of a debate-- both extremes are no longer being represented. "Moderates" are left to find compromise with only one side...

Imagine an event where the existence of Habeas Corpus is up for debate. At issue is either keeping or getting rid of one of the foundation stones of Human Liberty. It is possible to compromise between such outcomes. But—and this is the crucial point—any such compromise weakens the foundation of American liberty. Too: the Moderate is helping, rather than hindering, a slide towards the extreme. This is obviously the least-desired outcome...

Now, with divided government once more, we can begin the long, slow, slide back to the center. I can go back to happily calling greens idiots and making fun of the fascists on the far right. Being terrified of the far right while making common cause with the far left was wearying in the extreme...

*with apologies to Jimmy Eat World

Posted by Andrew at 01:15 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

In case you missed it

Posted by Andrew at 12:37 PM | Comments (1)

November 29, 2006

Ancient computing

Ancient Computer Found, Can't Play Doom - Gizmodo

So, some scientists have found what may be the world's oldest computer. Which is kind of rad...

What this shows me is not the hight of ancient technologies, but rather it's limitations. The computer was made of gears; Each gear was hand cut. Until humanity was able to mass-manufacture precision instruments, we would always be stuck using such crude tools...

Though perhaps had they stuck with such designs, our ancestors would have developed such tools. All of this brings to mind the simple question: if the thing was so bleeding useful, why did people stop using it? Surly the Romans (who conquered the Greeks) would have found it just as useful-- and there must have been a Greek slave willing to trade the design for his freedom...

I would submit that this machine didn't work nearly as well as we think it might have...

Posted by Andrew at 04:16 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Blogspot Blues

This morning I received an urgent Email from the proprietor of This Day in Alternate History. Google is screwing with his account...

This hosing is not malicious on Google’s part—quiet the contrary; they are attempting to upgrade their own service, and provide a better user experience. In the mean time, he—and others—are unable to update their sites. In the mean time, you can find tdiah by clicking this link. Since he’s now using Word Press, and Google makes money by selling ads on blogspot pages... that’s going to cost Blogger some money...

Google seems unreachable. Robbie Taylor has asked me to spread the word. Perhaps an avalanche of negative publicity will help get these blogs back up and running. If you’re interested in helping, just do a post on your own site about the situation. Be nice. Include a link to Blogger, so that they’ll start noticing a bunch of hits and wonder why...

Posted by Andrew at 10:34 AM | Comments (0)

November 28, 2006

Happy feet= bad movie.

Sorry Amanda, you’re just wrong on this one. I saw happy feet and was more than a bit annoyed at how bad it was...

Look, I’m a friend of the environment. We really ought to grow our fish in vats in South Dakota so that the ecosystem has a chance to repair itself. I’m in favor of that. Turning carbon into a global commodity with steadily decreasing availability? Sure. Let’s do that f*cker. The problem with Happy Feet wasn’t message, it was presentation...

The movie started out as a shining example of evolution: penguins show their prowess at gathering scares resources in order to find a mate. Where the resources are the most-scarce, they sing. One little penguin couldn’t sing and so he was not going to be able to pass along his mutant “dancing” DNA. Until one penguin decided that she rather preferred dancing to singing, and so all looked good...

Then for some reason Our Hero had to—half way through the movie—engage in a Campbellian journey to discover ~~the alien’s who are slowly killing his people~~ himself. Eventually, he find the ~~humans~~ aliens, and gets put in a zoo. While in the zoo he goes slowly insane. Until he starts to tapdance. Now, the movie had clearly established that he only taps when he’s happy, and he’s clearly unhappy. But tap he does, and we dasterly humans release him back into the wild. His tapping becomes an internet sensation (no joke!), and the UN is lobbied to prevent further fishing in their area, saving penguins and their tappy-tap-tapping ways...

Moral lesson: animals are only with saving when they entertain us...

It seems as if the movie simply needed to be padded for time and so tacked on this whole other plot as a way of keeping the theatre filled. It was fun and diverting right up until it became a Kafkaesque exploration of the penguin psyche and humanity’s cruelty to nature. The juxtaposition of the two was unsettling at best...

I’d like to recommend this movie, but I can’t. Go watch March of the Penguins again, instead...

Posted by Andrew at 05:32 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

November 25, 2006

A few bad apples

Rumsfeld okayed abuses says former U.S. general

Karpinski, who ran the prison until early 2004, said she saw a memorandum signed by Rumsfeld detailing the use of harsh interrogation methods.

Nothing to see here folks. Move along, move along. Actually, this really isn't enough to hang him. Show me the signature authorizing water boarding, and I'll be on the phone with congress...

Posted by Andrew at 10:09 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

November 22, 2006

Then and now...

1994: Republicans sweep into control of Congress, including picking up a 26-seat margin in the House. Not a single Republican incumbent anywhere loses.
Media conventional wisdom: The country has given the Republican agenda a broad mandate, and decisively rejected the Democrats.

2006: Democrats sweep into control of Congress, including picking up a margin of at least 26 House seats, probably more. Not a single Democratic incumbent anywhere loses.

Media conventional wisdom: A pox on both their houses. The voters have rejected partisanship, and want both parties to work together.

1994: Incoming House Speaker Newt Gingrich backs a political ally for Majority Whip, who goes on to lose to Tom DeLay for the post.

Media conventional wisdom: It doesn't matter; Newt is still the man. He's hailed as probably more powerful than President Clinton. Time Magazine names him "person of the year."

2006: Incoming House Speaker Nancy Pelosi backs a political ally for Majority Leader, who goes on to lose to Steny Hoyer for the post.

Media conventional wisdom: Pelosi seriously blew it. She's damaged goods, now. She cannot plausibly lead.

Liberal media, my tailfeathers.

(Shamelessly stolen from: bird brains, a site you ought to read more often...)

Posted by Andrew at 12:05 PM | Comments (0)

Pelosi still plans on following through with her "100 hours"

[Nancy] Pelosi plans to start the 110th Congress with a bang on Jan. 4 — when the House holds its ceremonial swearing in and elects her as speaker — by immediately setting off on a sprint of several weeks to enact the Democrats' ambitious 100-hour agenda.
Lawmakers usually return home between the swearing-in ceremony and the president's speech, but analysts say the hurried schedule gives Democrats a chance to show instant results. It could also put Bush on the defensive, forcing him to sign or veto a host of popular initiatives.

This is a great idea: not only does it send a message of urgency and seriousness (not to mention hard work, a quality notably missing from Congress in recent years), but it allows Pelosi to seize the legislative initiative instead of just waiting to react to Bush's State of the Union address a few weeks later. It's a smart move.

(found here)

*sigh*

The fact that this is news to both readers of the SF gate, and to Kevin Drum is why Democrats are routinely criticized for not having "ideas". The fact is that Pelosi ran on the idea of having a first "100 hours". This isn't earth shattering, it's not a reaction, it was what she was elected for. It's like being shocked that Bush tried to cut taxes...

Posted by Andrew at 10:25 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

November 20, 2006

Your Democratic congress in Action!

Making Light: A move to reinstate normal legal procedures

And we've not even taken office yet!

Posted by Andrew at 11:01 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

November 16, 2006

requiescat in pace

Economist Milton Friedman dies at 94 - Yahoo! News

Running to work: posted without comment, for now...

Posted by Andrew at 12:04 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

November 15, 2006

The Work Ahead

Hullabaloo

The Republicans may have finally jumped the shark, after failing so dramatically at governance, but they have inculcated their thinking so thoroughly into people's minds that many people don't even know it. The way most people think about government, and the vocabulary they all use, comes from the Republican playbook. It's going to take a huge effort to get people thinking about it in new ways.

Having Congress won't by itself allow Liberals and Progressives to change the way people frame issues. But we now have some of the basic tools with which we can begin to change the nature of the debate. That's better than it has been...

Posted by Andrew at 02:58 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

November 14, 2006

The Fighting 110th congress!

Baseball, if played by different rules, would be football. Or any other sport of your choice. If played by the right set of rules, it would be chess. Any game is defined by its rules. I am a former Parliamentarian. I’ve sat on rules committees; I am, when you get down to it, a rules geek...

Rolling Stone magazine did an excellent story demonstrating why the Democrats in the 109th congress were so ineffective. The Republicans rewrote the rules to be not merely anti-Democratic, but also democratic. Minority voices must be heard, otherwise prove the Founder’s greatest fear: that a majority can tyrannize as well as a king...

And so today I called Representative Pelosi’s San Francisco office. I congratulated her on her victory, and asked the nice staffer if they had any plans on rewriting the congressional rules to be more inclusive of minority views. He told me that they were focused on closing out the 109th, and I get that. I reminded him that the new rules would put in place simultaneous with the inauguration of the 110th. He said that they’d keep in touch...

When the new congress takes office, I would implore the Democratic congress to remember their own time as a minority party. Simple fairness tells us that they should not impose any rule they would not be willing to live with were they to return to the minority.

Of course, fairness isn’t the only thing at stake: the Democrats will inevitably lose power at some point in the future. If they can enshrine democratic principles in victory, those principles stand a good chance at being principles down the line. Call your Member of Congress. Remind them that the Democratic Party stands for Democracy...

Posted by Andrew at 11:51 AM | Comments (0)

November 10, 2006

Exciting Conclusions about the Indigo Girls

I sometimes forget that I’m dating a lesbian. Since we were introduced by her Ex Girlfriend, you’d think I wouldn’t have any problems remembering. My memory cleared up a bit when she offered a ticket to the Indigo Girls show at the Warfield last night...

The opening act, Bitch and the Exciting Conclusions, provided an interesting perspective on the culture wars. In essence, this ~~woman~~ womyn perceives a very real problem: patriarchal norms have been attempting to kill her personality for most of her life. She reacts in a way quite normal and healthy when one is confronted with poison: she vomits it out. Unfortunately—and it really is unfortunate—no one enjoys watching others vomit. I think it’s this process which causes “Red” America to be so hostile to “Blue” America’s position on basic human rights: goodness, they must be thinking my options are A) everything I’ve ever known, or B) public vomiting. No wonder abuse at the hands of the patriarchy seems more appealing...

Then the Indigo Girls come out. In a pair of hours they showed not simply what resistance looks like, but what it means to be a fully actualized human being living under different rules. Indeed, with one of their most famous and popular songs Closer to Fine contains a few lines which neatly sum up why liberalism is necessary. Indeed, it sums up Liberalism is the best possible way of being:

There's more than one answer to these questions pointing me in crooked line The less I seek my source for some definitive The closer I am to fine.

When the crowd heard this song, we went kinda nuts...

Towards the end of the show, Bitch came back out and showed that she, too, knows how to rock. Her talent and enthusiasm married with the ‘Girls’ maturity (and also talent and enthusiasm!) was quite a beautiful thing to behold. I can’t help but feel that when she grows up a bit the musical world will have a major talent...

Posted by Andrew at 10:43 AM | Comments (0)

November 09, 2006

Limbaugh: I was knowingly complicit with the harming of America

Or did he mean something else by this:

But the way I feel is this: I feel liberated, and I'm just going to tell you as plainly as I can why. I no longer am going to have to carry the water for people who I don't think deserve having their water carried. Now, you might say, "Well, why have you been doing it?" Because the stakes are high. Even though the Republican Party let us down, to me they represent a far better future for my beliefs and therefore the country's than the Democrat [sic] Party does and liberalism.

(found here)

It seems a bit odd that the man would do so much to keep America going down the path George Bush put us on, and then claim that he really wanted us on a different path. But that in order to get us down that other path, we had to... no, I have no idea what the hell he is trying to say...

Ultimately, he admits that he wants his side to win no matter how much it hurts everyone else. Can someone explain to me why he has listeners?

Posted by Andrew at 01:21 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

November 08, 2006

Free at last.

After half a decade of unfettered control of the executive and legislative branches, America has finally understood what Republican rule means. We were not happy about it. Last night we had the opportunity as citizens to raise our voices. America decided that anyone would be better than the Republicans...

And so we did. Last night we elected a fairly conservative crowd for our nation’s liberal party. The election was not a revolutionary one with bold new ideas, but rather a technocratic one; Democrats promised to do better. The Democrats will apply their—our—philosophy of respecting human beings to the problems that confront us today...

If victory is possible in Iraq, we will pursue it. If it is impossible, we will get out. We will not cut services, and so will have to raise taxes to pay for them. These are not popular ideas, but they are necessary ones...

In exchange, Americans at the lowest income brackets will see a bump in their paycheck. This will allow them to actually buy stuff—this ought to be good for the economy. Also we Democrats will try to create a universal healthcare system. Every other country on earth that has one has seen service levels go up and overall prices to plummet. So again: more goods for less cash. I suppose we’ll see these things can get past an obstructionist White House. These next pair of years ought to be interesting...

Posted by Andrew at 10:01 AM | Comments (0)

Too little, too late...

"Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld is stepping down, sources tell CNN."
-Headline at CNN.Com

Posted by Andrew at 10:00 AM | Comments (0)

November 07, 2006

Rise to vote, Sir!

Well, what are you waiting for? Go do it. Your boss has to give you 2hrs off...