June 10, 2008
Cellphones and popcorn...
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May 22, 2008
Your world in Charts
more graph humor and song chart memes
Posted by Andrew at 09:12 AM | Comments (0)
April 17, 2008
Welcome to America, Bene...
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April 16, 2008
Apotheosis of Apple
I hope the students behind this one got an A...
Posted by Andrew at 08:24 AM | Comments (0)
March 09, 2008
Talk nerdy to me...
Posted by Andrew at 11:23 PM | Comments (0)
March 03, 2008
Defending marriage, one joke at a time...
Posted by Andrew at 09:38 PM | Comments (0)
March 01, 2008
Your world in charts
Posted by Andrew at 04:15 PM | Comments (1)
February 27, 2008
I'm going to sue
I've not only not lost weight, I've gained weight since becoming a reader of 20sided. These false claims must end.
Posted by Andrew at 08:18 AM | Comments (0)
December 15, 2007
You know who you are...
Posted by Andrew at 01:09 PM | Comments (0)
November 12, 2007
I want an iPhone
Posted by Andrew at 07:49 PM | Comments (0)
October 03, 2007
Boot to the head
Posted by Andrew at 09:31 PM | Comments (1)
September 06, 2007
Rosa Parks
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August 27, 2007
If Jabba had survived...
This is my first time at an AA meeting. I've been sober for one day. First, I'd just like to say how moved I am that you all have agreed to hold this meeting in the gymnasium. I think we all know it would have been a little cramped in the Sunday school room. Oh, dang it, that's embarrassing. I'll pay for the chair. No, I'll just lie here on the floor. Okay, well, I've been an alcoholic for, oh, I guess about six-hundred years, give or take a decade or so. I started drinking in high school with my friends on Tatooine. I'm sorry? No, it's not outside of Sacramento. Anyway, I didn't always look this bad. As a teen I actually did a runway show in Mos Eisley. But then, a few drinks with my pals became nights alone with a bottle of something blue, just listening to old Genesis records. What? No, before Phil Collins. Well, Peter Gabriel, of course. He absolutely was. No, I'm afraid there were a number of albums before Invisible Touch.--My Name Is Jabba And I'm An Alcoholic
Posted by Andrew at 09:04 AM | Comments (0)
August 07, 2007
Do you have a flag, part 2
Trailer for a bold new summer movie
Posted by Andrew at 10:38 AM | Comments (0)
June 19, 2007
Go me!
| Are you smarter than a monkey? | |
 | YES! You scored 100%, which means that you're 62% smarter than a monkey! |
| 'Are you smarter than a monkey?' at QuizGalaxy.com | |
Posted by Andrew at 09:07 AM | Comments (1)
May 27, 2007
I hate mimes.
Oh! But a sexy, funny, magician mime? Sign me up...
(nsfw)
Posted by Andrew at 11:07 AM | Comments (2)
May 19, 2007
Giving it up for UCD!
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May 16, 2007
The Best YouTube video I've seen all day...
Posted by Andrew at 09:39 AM | Comments (1)
May 13, 2007
Best Headline Ever!
(Via Larry the Labrat)
Posted by Andrew at 10:46 AM | Comments (0)
May 12, 2007
Leeroy Jenkins!
Posted by Andrew at 06:06 PM | Comments (0)
April 21, 2007
Nun joke: (not at all blasphemous)
A nun walks into Mother Superior's office and plunks down into a
chair. She lets out a sigh heavy with frustration.
"What troubles you, Sister?" asks the Mother Superior. "I thought
this was the day you spent with your family."
"It was," sighed the Sister. "And I went to play golf with my
brother. We try to play golf as often as we can. You know I was quite
a talented golfer before I devoted my life to Christ."
"I seem to recall that," the Mother Superior agreed. "So I take it
your day of recreation was not relaxing?"
"Far from it," snorted the Sister. "In fact, I even took the Lord's
name i n vain today!"
"Goodness, Sister!" gasped the Mother Superior, astonished. "You must
tell me all about it!"
"Well, we were on the fifth tee...and this hole is a monster, Mother
- 540 yard Par 5, with a nasty dogleg left and a hidden green...and I
hit the drive of my life. I creamed it. The sweetest swing I ever
made. And it's flying straight and true, right along the line I
wanted...and it hits a bird in mid-flight not 100 yards off the tee!"
"Oh my!" commiserated the Mother. "How unfortunate! But surely that
didn't make you blaspheme, Sister!"
"No, that wasn't it," admitted Sister. "While I was still trying to
fathom what had happened, this squirrel runs out of the woods, grabs
my ball and runs off down the fairway!"
"Oh, that would have made me blaspheme!" sympathized Mother.
"But I didn't, Mother Superior!" sobbed the Sister. "And I was so
proud of myself! And while I was ponderin g whether this was a sign
from God, this hawk swoops out of the sky and grabs the squirrel and
flies off, with my ball still clutched in his paws!"
"So that's when you cursed," said the Mother with a knowing smile.
"Nope, that wasn't it either," cried the Sister, anguished, "because
as the hawk started to fly out of sight, the squirrel started
struggling, and the hawk dropped him right there on the green, and
the ball popped out of his paws and rolled to about 18 inches from
the cup!"
Mother Superior sat back in her chair, folded her arms across her
chest, fixed the Sister with a baleful stare and said...
"You missed the fucking putt, didn't you?"
Posted by Andrew at 02:04 PM | Comments (0)
March 11, 2007
Unicorn vs. Narwhal
Posted by Andrew at 10:35 AM | Comments (0)
February 15, 2007
Help Desk Blues
Posted by Andrew at 09:25 AM | Comments (0)
January 04, 2007
Trolling Craig's list...
Whisky From the Bottle, lives with mom, seeks like. But funnier...
Posted by Andrew at 11:46 AM | Comments (1)
September 25, 2006
The Ladder and the Barn
“Confound it!” he said “A thousand times DARN!
my nifty new ladder won’t fit in my barn.
The barn’s forty feet, from front to back end
while the ladder is fifty and never will bend.”
The farmer despaired, you could tell by his look,
when out of a tree fell a skinny red book!
The book hit his head and when he stopped squirmin’,
he saw it was written by N. David Mermin.
“A gift from the Gods! This Mermin’s a sage!
It must be an omen….I’ll read every page.”
But try as he did, he could not read it through;
He couldn’t read nothin’ past page thirty-two.
“I needn’t read more!” he said feeling tall,
“Perhaps that new ladder will fit after all!
As objects speed length-wise at velocities steady…
this book claims I’ll witness some changes quite heady!
All fast moving objects, is says, will contract
by a factor specific-Dave proves this as fact.
If I take the square root of one minus (v squared
divided by c times itself, which is c squared)…
I now have the factor by which fast things shrink!”
The farmer grew quiet, and started to think.
This old man was simple, but perhaps somewhat wise:
He figured that ladder could be shrunk in size.
“Right now this here ladder’s too long by ten feet,
but should it zip by, its length would deplete!!!
“My prayers have been answered,” cried the jubilant man,
“I’ve done all the math, so this is my plan:
To speed up this ladder to a frame that’s inertial,
at three-fifths of c!!!!...I’ll need my son Herchel.”
“He’ll run with the ladder as I stand and look on,
and I should see that ladder fit right in the barn!!
While it’s fifty feet long as it lays here at rest,
if it moves three-fifths c it will just pass the test!”
For the barn will not move, so its length will STAY forty,
while the fifty- foot ladder will SHRINK down to 40.”
“When the ladder’s front reaches the barn’s farthest wall,
A super strong door will instantly fall
“When the ladder’s rear reaches the barn’s closer side
A front door will seal my new ladder inside!
He explained this to Herchel (a very smart lad)
Who instantly questioned his cup-half-full dad:
“Father, I fear you’ve not thought this scheme through.
You’ve only considered your own point of view.
From my frame of reference, at rest I shall be
And the barn will rush towards me at three-fifths of c.
I and the ladder will not shrink an inch,
While the barn will get smaller an even worse pinch!
“Father!” he sobbed, “you’ve become so elated
you’ve forgotten that you and your son are related!”
-Joshua M. Kershenbaum,
(Amherst College, 1996)
Posted by Andrew at 09:37 AM | Comments (0)
September 14, 2006
Don't Download this song
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September 09, 2006
Silly fundementalists
(click here for the original at xkcd)
Posted by Andrew at 01:12 PM | Comments (0)
August 29, 2006
San Francisco Beaches
As a point of geeky reference: the beach he's on is roughly where StarFleet academy would be...
Posted by Andrew at 10:56 PM | Comments (0)
July 17, 2006
Title of the song
Posted by Andrew at 02:38 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
July 15, 2006
If anyone wants to buy me this shirt...
I'm an XL...
Posted by Andrew at 01:26 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
July 13, 2006
Ken Lay unChrist-like...
Whatever: When Ministers Say Goddamned Stupid Things
Nothing important to add. Click! click!
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June 25, 2006
Fed humor..
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June 13, 2006
Basic Problems
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June 04, 2006
Ummm, wha?
Posted by Andrew at 07:53 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
May 24, 2006
Brains!
Posted by Andrew at 10:40 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
May 21, 2006
A comedy 3,000 years in the making...
Posted by Andrew at 12:01 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
April 10, 2006
Congratulations on being the creator of a new Evil Plan (tm)!
Your objective is simple: World Domination
Your motive is a little bit more complex: Madness
Stage One:
To begin your plan, you must first Seduce a Wealthy Heiress. This will cause the world to sit up and take notice, stunned by your arrival. Who is this Evil Genius? Where did they come from? And why do they look so good in a Corporate Suit?
Stage Two:
Next, you will Seize control of United Nations. This will cause countless hordes of Corporate Suits to flock to you, begging to do your every bidding. Your name will become synonymous with Rage, as lesser men whisper your name in terror.
Stage Three:
Finally, you will Reveal to the World your Corporate Takeover, bringing about the Apocalypse. This will all be done from a Corporate Tower, an excellent choice if we might say. These three deeds will herald the end, and the citizens of this planet will have no choice but to elect you their new god.
Trust us, it'll all come together in the end.
Posted by Andrew at 12:34 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
April 08, 2006
Well, who doesn't love that town?
Posted by Andrew at 01:14 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
April 03, 2006
Mario!
Posted by Andrew at 12:40 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
April 01, 2006
Google rules the world
Google Romance
Now they want us to breed and create more users for their evil needs..
Posted by Andrew at 11:11 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
March 30, 2006
I could use that!
Home on the Strange: A Much-Needed Service
Posted by Andrew at 11:55 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
March 13, 2006
heh. Indeed
Medium Large: Comic for Monday, March 13, 2006
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March 09, 2006
Be Young, Have Fun, Drink Polity Iv Dataset.
The Advertising Slogan Generator
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February 08, 2006
Gamer's Girlfriend's grief
Tripod perform at a Comedy Festival - Google Video
Posted by Andrew at 01:48 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
February 01, 2006
oh Mary Sue, baby where are you?
Mary Sue: Nine Men And A Little Lady
(via Afaeyre Maede)
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January 24, 2006
The coolest kids on the block
BBspot - Geek Parents Using Cooling Technology Instead of Medicine to Lower Fevers
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December 25, 2005
Just in case you've missed it everywhere else
Posted by Andrew at 09:55 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Merry christmas!
What says christmas quite like Puns?
Posted by Andrew at 08:50 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
September 09, 2005
The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition
The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition
I've been watching DS:9 recently...
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August 31, 2005
As usual, the Onion nails it...
Genie Grants Scalia Strict Constructionist Interpretation Of Wish
Which is the exact problem with “strict constructivism”...
Posted by Andrew at 02:35 PM | TrackBack
August 27, 2005
F8ck
The below motion was filed earlier this month in connection with a criminal charge filed against a Colorado teenager. The boy's troubles started when he was confronted at school by a vice principal who suspected that he had been smoking in the boys bathroom. When presented to the principal, the kid exploded, cursing the administrator with some variants of the "F" word. For his outburst, the boy was hit with a disorderly conduct rap, which was eventually amended to interfering with the staff, faculty, or students of an educational institutional. Faced with what he thought was a speech crime, Eric Vanatta, the teen's public defender, drafted the below motion to dismiss the misdemeanor charge. The District Court document is an amusing and profane look at the world's favorite four-letter word, from its origins in 1500 to today's frequent use of the term by Eminem, Chris Rock, and Lenny Kravitz.
Posted by Andrew at 03:40 PM | TrackBack
August 16, 2005
Karate Cat
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